What this is all about…
Q: Who are you and what’s your project about?
A: The project is a photo essay about a journey around the world. It will be in blog form, initially. There’s a bit about me to be found here.
Q: What are you doing exactly?
A: Searching for heartbreaking beauty.
Q: What does that mean?
A: I can’t really define it too rigidly. It makes it less magical.
Q: Do you believe in magic?
A: Yes, I do.
Q: Don’t you think that’s a little bit silly?
A: Yes, I do.
Q: Can you give me some sort of explanation for this project that’s not too rigid and maintains its “magical” integrity?
A: I’ll give it a shot; What I hope to do, simply put, is stir something up. I want to instigate an internal paradigm shift so far afield from what I’ve learned to consider “normal” that there’s no turning back. Let’s start sharing the imperfections of living and love it. Let’s laugh, and get confused, and cry, and give each other hugs, and tell each other “I love you!” Then we can laugh and cry confusedly together while we hold hands and watch each other’s tears sparkle on our smiling faces. How does that sound? Are you with me?
Q: Whoa, whoa, cool it. I’m the one asking the questions here. You sound a little bit like a crazy person. What’s that all about?
A: I suppose I am, or at least a little dizzy after years of tail chasing, which is precisely how the idea for this endeavor came about. It’s not a new story. You’ve heard it on Oprah a million times. You get to a place in life where you’ve been following all the rules; you’ve got your apartment or house that you’re obligated to sit in because you work that job to pay those bills and drive that car that takes you to work so you can pay those bills, and go sit in your place, and you start asking yourself “What the hell am I doing this for?” I’ve grown weary from the incessant nature of that question. It’s time to make moves. So that’s what this is. The title “A Search For Heartbreaking Beauty” is a metaphor for actively engaging life on all of its many levels; enjoying the greatness, humor, and splendor, while not running away from the complicated, confusing, or painful parts, allowing it all to be experienced and considering everything that reveals itself as a lesson provided to show a path to greater happiness and balance.
I live in a country that’s considered to be one of the most privileged in the world, but as westerners we have become so detached from the privilege of things like time with family, sense of community, and a life that is lived in communion with our environment that we suffer from alcoholism, depression, and mental illnesses like schizophrenia that often end in suicide, at a much higher rate than in any third world or “underprivileged” country. I personally believe, as I know many do, that there is a better way to live. In our desperate seeking for more “privilege” we’ve lost sight of the bigger picture. I think we have a lot to learn from the rest of the world.
Q: How are you going to do this?
A: I’m going to sacrifice security for the sake of experience and see what life offers up along the way.
Q: You’re an explorer?
A: Yeah, I guess, in the sense that I’m exploring the human experience through my own lens of perception, and sharing it through the lens of the camera and in writing. It’s a study spawned through the personal, but it’s also universal, because we’re interconnected. This is a search for beauty, and laughter, and life, that’s so big it shatters your heart into a billion tiny little pieces and blows them to every corner of the universe, spreading so far and wide that it’s impossible for the concept of “me” as something separate from the rest of the world to exist any longer. It’s about being small and gigantic all at the same time.
Q: Talk about melodramatic, dang girl. What are the parameters you’ve set for this project?
A: I hesitate to define. I want there to be very few limitations. The plan is that there is no plan. That being said, I have to start somewhere, so… To begin with, I sell everything I own. This exploration is largely about shedding the protective skin of comfort zones. I’ll be homeless for the entire journey. In addition to living outside of the comforts and constraints of daily life as we know it, the other organizing principles of this project will be communication, and documentation. Writing and photography are the chosen mediums. I’ll never be without my camera or laptop. Another key ingredient is chance. I’m traveling solo, but desire the unpredictability that relationships inevitably bring to all things, so I’m going to remain open to allowing the agendas of the people who come into my life to help create my path.
Reader be warned: I am not a missionary, or a selfless saint. I am not venturing out with any misguided expectations of saving the world. I’m a flawed person traveling through an imperfect world, and talking about my own impressions of it along the way. If you have expectations of a blog that oozes with sentimentality and platitudes, you’ll be disappointed.
Here’s where I’ve been so far, click to view an interactive map:
Below is a rough itinerary I wrote prior to departure…
April 20th-ish
LAX to Heathrow - Me, two cats, and one bag. We fly to London and hang out with my friend Sunnah for a week. Then I leave crying, but knowing the cats will love living with Sunnah until my return. I will have to prep Sunnah for the endless email requests of cat photos she will be receiving for the next two years.
May
I’ll make my way from London to Moscow. I still haven’t decided how, maybe through a series of trains or possibly a flight. Being that it’s the most expensive city in the world, I’ll limit my visit to one night. I’ve already met a friend of a friend in Moscow through couchsurfing so it sounds like I’ll be staying with her. I’m really excited to check out the Moscow Metro.
From Moscow I’ll catch The Trans-Siberian Railway and ride it out to Beijing, making a couple of stops along the way in Irkutsk and Ulan Bator. This will be quick, just over a week. From Beijing I’m going to catch a ferry to South Korea and then move onto Japan, giving each about a month.
From Japan I’ll go to Taiwan and then on to mainland China, doing the obvious stuff like Shanghai and Hong Kong, then moving overland and trying to get permits to enter Tibet. I’m budgeting 2 to 3 months for China.
October-ish
From China I’ll go to India from the north, possibly going through Nepal as well. This time of year is suppose to be a bit cooler in India. My plan was to explore the north by train and then move into the south and ride around on a bike. This guy, Mr. Pumpy, has a whole route that he’s done mapped out. It sounds like a pretty interesting way to do it. You get out into the country and often end up staying with locals in places off the beaten path. Although, I just went looking for his site to link to and couldn’t find it… That may change my plans, as I kind of like the idea of following his map. I think if I tried to map it myself I’d end up trekking through some huge mountain by mistake. I’m budgeting a few months for India.
January-ish
A month in Sri Lanka.
February-ish
From there I’ll move onto South East Asia, and spend the next 6 months working my way through. I’ve heard Burma may be difficult to get in to, but if I can, I’ll start there. So it looks something like Burma > Thailand > Laos > Vietnam > Cambodia > Malaysia > Indonesia > East Timor > the tip of Australia? > Philippines.
This is roughly over a year. For the following year I would like to move onto Egypt and make my way through Africa and then South America. I, of course, would also like to include more of Europe, possibly some places in the Middle East (depending upon the social climate), and the United States, but for now I will just have to keep that desire on the back burner, as they are very expensive and I have no idea how the budget will work itself out. If I find creative ways to travel cheaply and work along the way it’s possible this could extend into a third year. I feel it’s all so abstract right now. It’s hard to say what will happen, but I think it’s a real possibility.
So tell me what you think. I’d love to hear all about the secret places you’ve found in your travels. Point me in the right direction!
